Jun 28, 2019
In this season-ending episode, I share five things I have learned about marriage. I also share how we met, our engagement story, and our wedding details. My 5-year anniversary is July 16, 2019. Over the course of the years, there have been a lot of ups, downs, lessons, and changes. One of the biggest things I learned is not to lose yourself. Our most difficult year, was because I wasn’t prioritizing myself. How can I adequately prioritize the marriage if I am prioritizing my husband? I was featured in a podcast and realized that I said a quote that resembles that in order to keep the fire burning, I need enough wood/food to burn it.
Here are my five tips and things I have learned:
- Don’t lose yourself
- Have patience
- Communication
- Respect
- There are seasons in a marriage just like there are seasons in your life
For better or worse is what they say; not many people fully think about the worse part.
Growing up in an environment where either no one married or no one stayed married, it is hard. There are truly three people in your marriage.
I’m grateful to have in-laws who are not trying to be that fourth person.
Yes, sometimes I consult my new brothers and sisters during tough times.
But I learned that even they don’t know fully know my husband and vice versa. Patience is hard especially with two people that are both of the fire sign (Astrology).
The hard part is when your patience is being tested by someone who knows your buttons and weaknesses and sometimes intentionally pushes them. Your love languages are completely different and your love lifestyles are different.
Communication can be a challenge at times. When both spouses have been used to being alone, doing things alone and fending for themselves for so long, sometimes it feels like there’s no need to communicate, other times we don’t even think about communicating things which happen to be of importance to one another. Language barriers sometimes get in the way too, arguments may come up when all in all, we are both saying the same exact thing. While both people are used to being private, the right kind of talks can cause one or the other to get unnecessarily defensive. It’s all about having the right amount of understanding.
R-e-s-p-e-c-t. Everyone has a different definition of what it means. The key thing about respect is letting the person be who they are. They didn’t come into the marriage to be changed. Obviously, as time goes on, they will grow in their own time. Allow the things that make you different mesh together to eventually help you to be aligned.
We’ve traveled to a handful of places in the U.S. together. We’ve been to Florida together for my doctor appointments in Fort Lauderdale as well as Tampa Florida for my best friend’s wedding.
We are finally done with the immigration process after basically 5 years.
What'd I Miss? Are you married? Do You Have Tips? Leave a comment in an Apple Podcast review.
Mentions:
Episode 1 - Retinoblastoma I'm a Cancer Survivor
Episode 3 - Operation Crossroads Africa
Episode 17 - Love Life and Therapy with Dr. Jummy Olawale
Embracing Intensity Episode 131
Sisterhood of Limitless Living with Dr. April Moreno
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